god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
