I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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