I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
