the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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