Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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