im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
