You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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