So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
