I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
