his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
