it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
