He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
