Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
