remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
