I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
