Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize