bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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