Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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