the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
