so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
