Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My vagina is officially offended.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
