I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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