okay pat passed out under dana's car
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
