3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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