the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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