I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
