sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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