why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
