literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
