Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
