My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize