I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
