I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
