You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
