party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
