just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
