All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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