Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize