she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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