just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
