if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
