Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm at about main and main street
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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