508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
