marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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