Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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