i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is my gift to your gina
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
