so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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