it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
