dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
