Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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