Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
