So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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