brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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