your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
