Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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