eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
