He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The feeling are messing with the penis
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
