I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
